Duking It Out With God

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor - Isaiah 61:3b

The people in my household are used to hearing this kind of chatter from behind the doors of my office, "God, is this the way You treat someone who is faithful to You?"

I have replicated this kind of "dialogue" with God in many scenarios; in my office, the car and I've yelled it out loud on the top of the mountain pines in Pine, Arizona a place 100 miles north of Phoenix where we have a family cabin built by my father-in-law. (I did this thinking no one but God could hear me.)

"I've waited and waited and now this! I despise and loathe You, God! I have had enough!" I have used those words. I've done it and then simply broke down and cried because I was at my wits end.

It was cleansing at one level. It is the relationship I have formed with my Heavenly Father at quite another level.

And so, as I sat there among the trees, in the middle of this scenic spot, listening to the wind through the trees and deciding what else I could say to God, I found myself in a state in which I was not quite accustomed...I was speechless. I was ticked-off. I was confounded by my life. I wondered if He was ever going to listen to me again (I had proof He had in the past - so I was not in a state of God denial). If my God was listening, I was sensing He really wasn't honoring my commitment to Him. Somehow the honor and worship I bestowed on Him was boring Him and my faith and obedience weren't cutting it.

I sat, walked, stood, shouted, stomped and cajoled God for hours wrestling internally with my sense of "aloneness" and lack of direction in this time of trouble.

Finally, without answers and sensing that God wasn't about to blurt out anything, I turned to head back to the cabin. Part of the time I had been sitting on an old scrub oak tree that was broken at the base and laying horizontal (mostly) to the ground. The tree had an arrow tip at one end that pointed toward the base of another huge busted down pine tree. With hands on hips, as I surveyed the scene I was about to leave a quiet whisper of a voice inside my heart of hearts said, "Today you are like this broken oak. You both stood tall and proud once but not now. But, my son, unlike this oak your brokenness is needed so you may become this large oak tree you will see when you turn around."

Now, the area I was at was filled with trees. Most of them pine. A few trees were scrub oak...not very majestic really. However, as I turned and looked eye level from my current position and straight out, there it was, the most majestic of all the trees in the area, almost out of place and standing alone in the center of my line of site a mighty oak tree.

It has been months and even years and my life has passed with many struggles. But God is true to His word. From from that day He began to replace the pain and disappointment with an inner joy that only His grace could provide. It came as wisdom from His word, the Bible and His words into my heart replaced my grasp on a world view of life that measured success comparatively by what friends, family and colleagues had and were doing.

So my loved ones and friends tell me about your struggles with life and the events surrounding you. Are you wrestling? Do you feel, perhaps in part, that God has deserted you? Let me suggest some things to you.

1. Be honest with God! He is the kind of Father who is willing to have those difficult conversations.

2. Realize that He won't always change things that aren't to your liking but His purposes will be accomplished and peace will come if you trust Him.

3. Trust Him this day with those things that are most difficult in your life. For me, it is providing for my family and ensuring that I live a life that is productive in my community and in and around my family. You better, as I had to, find out if those were his priorities or if they are something else.

God can handle a good shouting at - He can handle a good wrestling match - He simply does not wish to handle no reaction at all.

I remain, more tightly than ever...

InHISgrip,
~J~