Confrontation with the Almighty

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor. - Isaiah 61:3b

"God, is this the way You treat someone who has worked so hard at remaining faithful to You?" I yelled out loud in my office, in my home, alone, where no one but God (and neighbors for a ½ mile around) could hear me. "I have waited and waited and now this! I hate You, God! You suck! I have had enough!" Those were my words (and a few others) that day as I wrestled with news of an event that devastated me to the point where I broke down weeping and yelling and screaming and guttural earthy cries that have no place in human existence or history.

As I sat there among the technology, and the wood floor, and my books and a very confused Milo (my daughters dog) deciding what else I could say to God, I was speechless. I was angry. I was confused. I wondered if He even existed. If He did, I felt like He really didn't honor my faith and obedience. I intermittently sat and then paced for hours wrestling internally with my feelings.

Finally, without answers and sensing that God wasn't answering me, I left to take a long walk. I walked outside our little residential area and headed toward the farming area. Finally, I stopped and sat down. I don’t even know how long it was. What I can tell you now is this; I had been sitting on an old oak tree that was broken at the base. The tree pointed toward the base of another massive, lofty oak tree. Finally, a still quiet voice inside said, "You are just like this tree John. You are broken. I ordered this brokenness. Without it you would never become this large oak tree you see."

It has been a very long time since that day. It has been years. There have been many struggles. Some associated with that day and how I handled myself. But God was true to His word from that day. He has brought me a tenderness and sensitivity to His workings in my life. I had pain and disappointment. It has been replaced with an inner contentment that only His gracious work and inner providential move within a man provides.

So, since I know I am nothing if not “everyman,” let me ask you, have you resolved the disappointments where you did not get the outcome you believed God has for you? C'mon, you know you've had them also. My experience was not that different than your.

Tell me. Have you recovered from that time or those times when God seemed distant and anything but personal? When you prayed and hoped and the answer you received left you empty and faithless...

That day when you yelled at God, did you ever resolve your differences with Him? My loved ones and friends you need to know this; He is the kind of Father who is willing to have those difficult conversations. As my dear friend Jim Bentley said to me, “He’s a big God – He can handle a tough talk.” He won't always change things, but His purposes will be accomplished and peace will come if you trust. You must trust Him this day with those things that are most difficult in your life. It is how you become the mighty oak!

And I will remain...by the still waters - being watered (See Psalm 1)

InHISgrip,
~J~