Unmet Expectations

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. - Philippians 1:20

Last night I read an article (more like an interview on the run) of Charlie Sheen. Essentially the interviewer asked Sheen as he looks back on his life if there were things he wished he had not done. Smugly Sheen retorts, "Have you even been paying attention to my life? Why would I want to have given up any of that? I wish I wouldn't have gotten so much heat for some of the less fortunate things that people misunderstood but hey...hell no; it's a good life just as is!"

Well good for you Charlie. But, I look back on my life and there are things I wished I had done differently. How about you? Have you ever had expectations that did not get fulfilled? Perhaps a coworker let you down. Perhaps you were trusting God for something in your life that never materialized. Perhaps you became devastated by an unmet expectation that you felt you were entitled to. Or, perhaps YOU let you down in some way that as you look back you now realize colors your life in a way that embarrasses you or brought dishonor to the cause of Jesus Christ and your walk with God.

Expectations can be a difficult trap for each of us if we are not fully committed to God's purposes in our lives.

The verse I've based this little devotional on was written from prison by the Apostle Paul to the people of the region of Philippi. Paul had an expectation. He anticipated that his life would bring glory to God, whether through his continued ministry or his death. His joy in living was not based on his expectations getting fulfilled, but on remaining true to the purpose for which God made him. God's glory and honor must be upheld regardless of the things about his life. The glory of God was preeminent.

Yesterday I vented a distasteful hurt to a loved one. Guess what? I regret it. GASP! What? John? You should have no regrets. Oh, but I do. When we react to circumstances with bitterness and resentment as a result of unmet expectations, we are saying that we know better than God, and that God has made a mistake in not meeting our expectations. We have to look past the history and into the face of God the Father. We must recognize Romans 8:28, "All things work for good to them who ADORE God..."

The process of resolving unmet expectations may require full disclosure to the individual who was the source of the unmet expectation. In my case this is true. It also means communicating how the unmet expectation made you feel. This is not to make the person feel obligated to meet the expectation, but simply to provide a place where reconciliation and healing can occur. If God was the source, then it is important to share this with the Lord. However, once we have done this we must let go of the situation and allow God to work in our hearts the grace that is needed to walk in freedom from the pain of the unmet expectation. If we do not do this, we will allow the seed of bitterness and resentment to enter in. This seed of bitterness will create leanness in our soul (we get skinny responses from God and have a thin and narrow relationship with Him instead of the fulness of His presence in our lives) and eventually will spread to others in our actions and in how they pick up the hypocrisy of our faith. God is either good all the time or He is not. What is it with you and I?

Last night I had to ask myself is my God in control or are people's actions and reactions to me going to drive my emotional and spiritual health. Perhaps you need to ask yourself today if you have any unmet expectations. How have you responded to them? Have you processed this with the Lord and others who may be involved? These are the steps to freedom from unmet expectations.

I remain...

InHISgrip,
~J~